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Table of Contents

Version 2.12 • Updated February 2023

Preface

• How to Read This Book
• Keep This Book Alive
• Introduction

Etiquette Advice

• Approaching a Revolving Door
• Attending a Party
• Attending a Wedding
• Attending Theater
• Being Asked to Conform
• Being Invited to Something You Don’t Want to Attend
• Boarding a Plane
• Drinking an Iced Beverage
• Driving a Car
• Getting a Compliment
• Hosting a Party
• Inviting a Friend to Hang Out
• Jaywalking at a Half-Jog
• Kissing a Girl on the Cheek
• Offering Your Seat
• Opening a Golf Umbrella
• Planning a Group Outing
• Planning to Attend a Party
• Pointing
• Posting a Group Photo
• Riding the Subway
• Saying Thank You
• Sitting on Furniture
• Spotting a Hazard
• Standing Next to a Celebrity
• Standing Next to a Woman Who Has Passed Gas
• Swearing
• Talking on a Cell Phone in a Checkout Line
• Texting
• Using a Urinal
• Visiting Someone’s Home
• Viewing a Photo on Someone Else’s Phone
• Yawning

Dining Advice

• Arriving Late for a Reservation
• Beginning a Meal
• Being Served a Bad Meal
• Chewing
• Dealing with a Bathroom Attendant
• Dining Out with a Large Group
• Eating Steak
• Eating Oysters on the Half Shell
• Finishing a Meal
• Greeting Somebody While Sitting at a Table
• Offering a Bite from Your Plate
• Speaking to a Waiter
• Trying Vegetarianism
• Using Silverware

Drinking Advice

• Drinking at an Office Party
• Drinking Champagne
• Drinking Cocktails
• Feeling Hungover and Regretting Your Behavior from the Previous Night
• Noticing Someone Drinking Seltzer at a Bar
• Ordering Wine
• Receiving a “Buy Back” or Free Drink
• Sitting Alone at a Bar
• Taking Up Drinking

Communication Advice

• Clarifying
• Emphasizing While Writing
• Giving a Wedding Toast
• Saying “Like” A Lot
• Saying “Real”
• Writing
• Writing “U” Rather Than “You”
• Writing an Email

Financial Advice

• Gambling
• Having What You Once Wanted
• Hiring Movers
• Making Money
• Selling Something on Craigslist
• Talking About Money
• Using a Credit Card to Buy Something You Can’t Afford
• Wanting to be Rich

Work Advice

• Arriving Late to a Morning Meeting
• Being Promoted
• Choosing a Career
• Firing Someone
• Getting Good at Something
• Interviewing for a Job
• Looking for Your First Real Job
• Managing
• Messing Up at Work
• Starting a New Job
• Thinking About Quitting a New Job
• Working at an Office
• Working for an Incompetent Boss
• Working in Customer Service
• Working While on Vacation
• Working with an Inept Colleague

Travel Advice

• Arriving in an European City
• Booking a Vacation Hotel
• Buying a Plane Ticket
• Choosing Between a Funicular and the Stairs
• Dressing for a Flight
• Exploring a New City
• Packing for a Trip
• Planning a Ski Trip
• Planning a Three-Day Weekend
• Taking a Safari
• Taking a Trip
• Traveling
• Traveling to a Foreign Country
• Traveling with Your Partner

Health & Fitness Advice

• Being Offered Free Food
• Belonging to a Gym
• Brushing Your Teeth
• Drinking a Diet Coke
• Feeling Full
• Gaining a Little Weight
• Having Seconds
• Jogging on a Sidewalk
• Smoking
• Wanting to Feel Healthier
• Wanting Washboard Abs

Style Advice

• Arriving Overdressed
• Assembling a Wardrobe
• Buying a Pocket Square
• Buying a Suit
• Buying Your First Tie
• Calling in Sick
• Combatting Pit Stains
• Doing Laundry
• Getting Dressed
• Leaving the House
• Noticing How Well Older Men Dress
• Turning Up Your Collar
• Tying a Bowtie
• Tying a Straight Tie
• Wearing Nothing
• Wearing a Belt
• Wearing a Black Suit
• Wearing a Button-Down Collar
• Wearing a Jersey with a Name and Number on the Back
• Wearing a Lanyard
• Wearing Pants
• Wearing a Polo Shirt
• Wearing a Spread Collar
• Wearing a Tuxedo for the First Time
• Wearing Hiking Sandals
• Wearing Shirtsleeves Too Short for Your Jacket
• Wearing Shoes
• Wearing Shorts
• Wearing Sunglasses

Love & Dating Advice

• Asking Out a Woman and Being Rejected
• Being Dumped
• Buying Flowers
• Dating a Woman with More Experience Than You
• Falling in Love
• Falling Out of Love
• Getting Married
• Growing Bored of Online Dating
• Having a Bad Argument
• Looking at an Old Photograph of Your Wife
• Moving in Together
• Proposing
• Seeking a Soul Mate
• Starting a New Relationship
• Shopping for a Special Gift
• Smitten with a Stranger
• Thinking That a Nearby Woman is Pretty
• Wanting Romantic Love
• Wanting to Impress a Woman

Life Advice

• Being Annoyed by a Stranger
• Being Annoyed by Family or Friends
• Being Proved Wrong
• Being Invited to an Out-of-Town Wedding
• Being Treated Like a Child
• Bonding with Another Man
• Caring for an Aged and Ailing Loved One
• Choosing Between Right and Wrong
• Comforting a Friend
• Complaining
• Dealing with a Death
• Doing Something Wrong
• Entering College
• Facing Peer Pressure
• Feeling Euphoric
• Feeling Low
• Feeling Special
• Feeling Wronged
• Having Sex for the First Time
• Getting Frustrated with Your Mother
• Graduating College
• Knowing Something
• Laughing at Someone
• Listening to a Friend
• Making a Hard Choice
• Making a Mistake
• Making a New Acquaintance
• Moving to a New City
• Planning a Bachelor Party
• Raising a Child
• Rehearsing an Argument
• Rereading a Favorite Book
• Turning Eighteen
• Waking Up in the Morning
• Wanting Something
• Wanting to Improve
• Trying Something Hard

Miscellaneous Advice

• Being Asked Directions
• Being Shown Nude Photos of a Friend’s Girlfriend
• Buying a Christmas Tree
• Catching a Foul Ball
• Clogging a Toilet
• Cooking
• Eating Pistachios
• Entering a Room
• Furnishing Your First Apartment
• Going to a Karaoke Bar
• Gossiping
• Having Fun
• Meeting Someone New
• Looking in a Mirror
• Noticing a Blemish
• Opening a Gift
• Out-Sizing Someone
• Owning a Dog
• Reading the Internet
• Sharing a Secret
• Shaking a Handful of Nuts
• Swimming
• Taking a Photograph
• Talking on the Phone
• Thinking “I’ll Remember That”
• Throwing Out a Christmas Tree
• Using Social Media
• Watching Fireworks

Back Pages

• Acknowledgements
• Colophon
• A Final Word

© 2023 W.S. Cole Press

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