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Belonging to a Gym

One day you’ll find yourself belonging to a gym. As a man, you’ll encounter unimaginably bad behavior in the locker room, so please observe the following rules: don’t talk on a cell phone; don’t leave your clothes on the floor; don’t spit, pee, or leave Band-Aids in the shower; and most importantly, don’t use a hair dryer on any hair not on your head. (You know what I mean.)